Consolidating finaces when marrying


18-Nov-2019 15:06

(I guess having a total he can keep in his mind makes him conscious of the fact that he doesn’t have an unlimited amount of money to spend! Anything from our personal budgets or that is already part of our monthly budget (which we keep on Mint) can be bought without question. Since he generally spends his entire personal budget every month and I rarely spend money on myself, I try to avoid telling him how much is in my personal budget because it’s usually like… I check Mint every morning so I see all the purchases, and he never carries cash.

Anything else requires a check-in with the other person. (This is actually a point of contention because we usually have some cash at home but he NEVER remembers to take it when he needs it…

Perhaps it was ,000 or maybe he exaggerated and it’s only

(I guess having a total he can keep in his mind makes him conscious of the fact that he doesn’t have an unlimited amount of money to spend! Anything from our personal budgets or that is already part of our monthly budget (which we keep on Mint) can be bought without question. Since he generally spends his entire personal budget every month and I rarely spend money on myself, I try to avoid telling him how much is in my personal budget because it’s usually like… I check Mint every morning so I see all the purchases, and he never carries cash.Anything else requires a check-in with the other person. (This is actually a point of contention because we usually have some cash at home but he NEVER remembers to take it when he needs it…

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(I guess having a total he can keep in his mind makes him conscious of the fact that he doesn’t have an unlimited amount of money to spend! Anything from our personal budgets or that is already part of our monthly budget (which we keep on Mint) can be bought without question. Since he generally spends his entire personal budget every month and I rarely spend money on myself, I try to avoid telling him how much is in my personal budget because it’s usually like… I check Mint every morning so I see all the purchases, and he never carries cash.

Anything else requires a check-in with the other person. (This is actually a point of contention because we usually have some cash at home but he NEVER remembers to take it when he needs it…

Perhaps it was $10,000 or maybe he exaggerated and it’s only $1,000 I’ll never know). Yes, I once bought a $2 chocolate bar and ate the entire thing by myself without sharing or letting him know I bought it! We have a very open relationship about money and talk about it a lot. I knew about my engagement ring and kept asking him if he had bought it yet! I’d imagine that it would be best to discuss before you either get engaged or before you combine your finances.

I’m pretty open with a partner about my money — obviously, I have a blog about it — but I’ve never jointly owned property or loans or credit cards with anyone before so I’m not sure yet how I’ll proceed in the future. I met MMM when I was 19, so it’s been a while since I’ve dated! The other person has the right to know what they’re getting into, also you can work together to eliminate debt and such. If you’re married or living with your significant other, how do you and your partner manage your money?

And, though I am not saying that led to our divorce, it certainly didn’t help the state of our marriage, it was another nail in the coffin.

Reply I know multiple people who have had troubles hiding the engagement ring purchase from their girlfriend!

Occasionally this get blurred if he gets something he *needs* and then he’s like, “But I had to get this because…” and all I say is, “That’s fine. so we’re always getting charged ATM fees.) I don’t actually know how he manages to buy me gifts…

,000 I’ll never know). Yes, I once bought a chocolate bar and ate the entire thing by myself without sharing or letting him know I bought it! We have a very open relationship about money and talk about it a lot. I knew about my engagement ring and kept asking him if he had bought it yet! I’d imagine that it would be best to discuss before you either get engaged or before you combine your finances.

I’m pretty open with a partner about my money — obviously, I have a blog about it — but I’ve never jointly owned property or loans or credit cards with anyone before so I’m not sure yet how I’ll proceed in the future. I met MMM when I was 19, so it’s been a while since I’ve dated! The other person has the right to know what they’re getting into, also you can work together to eliminate debt and such. If you’re married or living with your significant other, how do you and your partner manage your money?

And, though I am not saying that led to our divorce, it certainly didn’t help the state of our marriage, it was another nail in the coffin.

Reply I know multiple people who have had troubles hiding the engagement ring purchase from their girlfriend!

Occasionally this get blurred if he gets something he *needs* and then he’s like, “But I had to get this because…” and all I say is, “That’s fine. so we’re always getting charged ATM fees.) I don’t actually know how he manages to buy me gifts…

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I tip my hats to for putting it all together and looking forward to the results! If you don’t wanna divulge your name or blog or anything like that, just go anonymously or under a fake name so you can wipe away all of your financial sins ;) We won’t tell anyone, I promise! I really try and be upfront with the lady – as I don’t wanna suffer from any repercussions of NOT being honest and upfront :) I think it’s important to lay it out all on the table and be on the same page with your spouse.

After we got engaged, we added him to my bank account at home, and then I hesitated about getting him his own debit card on the account (which of course insulted him). Spending personal money can be done without spousal input or judgment; spending outside of that has to be agreed-upon. No, because he pretty much leaves the finances up to me.

This turned my spending husband into a saver PDQ because he doesn’t want to use up his finite amount of money. But I would never, ever try to spend money we didn’t have or lie to him about how much something cost or anything like that. He just knows how much is in his personal budget, and he does the grocery shopping so he checks Mint to see how much grocery budget he has left for the month.

If you’re working towards eliminating debt or saving money, it might be best to plan out the financial decisions together to stay on track. Have you ever lied, or hidden, any financial information from your other half? I can’t think of anything, I’m a pretty open book about mostly everything. Reply I dont quite have time to answer all the questions, but I will second the engagement ring.

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After I got mine, they kept sending catalogs from the jewelry store to my house with MY name on them.

I wouldn’t say it leads to it, like it causes it, but I think that financial intimacy, sexual intimacy, emotional intimacy, etc. And if you get in the habit of hiding some things, then it becomes easier to hide other things, and I would imagine it kind of changes the way you view your spouse. Reply Money and relationships can be so tricky, especially if you and your partner have very different financial situations.