Dating and playing game
On the other hand, if the man you are dating seems self-absorbed, lacks empathy, does not seem to want intimacy and flirts with other women, he may be narcissistic and view relationships as games to be won, according to a 2002 paper published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, and funded in part by the University of Georgia.
If the latter is true, you will probably want to consider severing ties with this man. Think about what made you vulnerable to a man who plays games.
In general, be coutious of new relationships from the beginning, and don't give up your power by becoming too attached before you really know the other person. Think about whether the man you are dating is simply fears commitment, or if his issues may run deeper.
Signs that he might be a good catch and just require a bit of patience include a desire for a love relationship, a general positive regard for women, past long-term relationships and a willingness to grow and work on issues, writes Kirschner.
Equally, if you’re not feeling it, it’s perfectly acceptable to just say so.
I recently went on a couple of dates with someone, and after the second date he messaged to tell me he wasn’t ready to date.
Even though we had fun and I enjoyed his company, I had so much respect for him after he sent that text.
So I told him just that, and we left it on friendly terms.
After all, it’s complete BS, and all it does is make us look dramatic, immature, and petty. I always kept a little bit of myself back, leaving my potential date intrigued. Fast forward a few years (*cough, nine years*), with a few long term relationships under my belt I can tell you this now, I am naaaaat here for the games. Look, I don’t know whether it’s because I’m a bit older or what, but I can’t be *bothered* with games. I’m half introvert, and need to cut myself off sometimes to re-charge, ok? I don’t have the time or energy to deal with boy drama. Had fun on the previous date and want to go on another? If you need to play games to get someone to like you, there’s a big chance you’re not that compatible in the first place. If I don’t text someone back straight away it’s because I’m either genuinely busy or because sometimes I get overwhelmed with constant communication. I work long hours and when I’m not at work I’m catching up with friends and family (and my cat). And I for one am past it (past caring about silly rules, not in the other sense. But it’s also pointless if you genuinely connect with someone.While some men play games out of fear of commitment or rejection, others may lack empathy or a desire for intimacy.
Some see relationships only as a way of building self-esteem, serving their self-interest or obtaining other personal benefits. Once you've identified a game-playing strategy, it is time to take back control.
You can protect yourself by learning the tell-tale signs of a game player and establishing firm boundaries until you know someone well enough to be more open. Signs of a man playing games include running hot and cold -- showing interest and then withdrawing -- as well as showing too much charm early on, making false promises and outright lying, writes psychologist Diana Kirschner in her article "Dating Games Men Play" on the website Self Growth.