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“There is a lot of grief, and people often feel like ‘I’m not lovable,’” said Marter. Friends affirmed that I was a “great catch” and that l would meet someone else, but all the while he still existed, living in the same apartment only miles away, taking calls on the same phone that he never answered when I called because he wanted nothing to do with me any longer.There is no socially established mourning process for the death of a relationship. It took long months for that pain to begin to subside.If breakups were easy, they would have a more accurate name—like a “filter” or “cleanse”—but what if we approached a break up as an experience to learn about ourselves?Marter said, “even though broken hearts are painful, there are lessons we learn if we honor the feelings of grief.
The secret is…choose to prioritize happiness.” While this advice might seem like an oversimplification of healing, prioritizing happiness takes a lot of work, and Norrington teaches that eliminating expectations is the first step in healing a broken heart.When we invest ourselves, our time, our emotions, and our hearts into building a life with a partner, we are feeding our hope, nurturing our happiness.A break up cannot only destroy that happiness but also diminish or even rob us of any hope of ever finding love again.She has written several personal essays, poems, and short works of fiction.
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